In light of a recent conversation held over the Keithly family dinner table (to the dismay of my mother), and in order to further prove my point and end the controversy that has arisen, I will attempt, through use of blog, to enlighten the world of the true facts of Urine.
To begin I need the reader to compose himself and continue through the entire entry in order to fully be enlightened.
Urine is not bad. I posed the question to the other members of this controversial conversation: Try to find one bad thing about urine.
A common response and probably the most obvious: it smells bad. Unfortunately for the believers of this acquisition it is a fact that urine from a healthy, hydrated body does not emit an odor. In fact, it is a very practiced method for medical personnel to use the different scents of unhealthy urine to diagnose a medical problems. For example: musty urine can be a sign of liver disease, ammonia smelling urine is a sign of dehydration, and foul smelling urine is usually caused by a bacterial infection of the kidneys or bladder.
Now instead of focusing this post on the so-called negative aspects of the golden fluid I am going to change the focus to the positive aspects. First off is the widely known fact that urine is sterile. When is an extreme situations urine can be used to hydrate ones body. If you are stranded in the ocean, it is said that mixing urine 50/50 with salt water can sustain dehydration for twice as long as pure urine. Stung by a jellyfish? Out in the wild and have an open wound? pee on it. Urine can ease the sting of jellyfish and prevent infections.
Urine therapy can boost the immune system. This is the act of consuming ones own urine daily and using the waste that was previously discarded to strengthen the bodies response to oxidants.
Some people use urine as bleach for their fabrics and even teeth. You may look at this as disgusting, but it is much more natural than a chemical bleach detergent. Because of high nitrogen content, urine allows increased amino acid synthesis by plants, meaning it is an effective fertilizer. A Canadian study has shown that 4 parts urine, and 1 part water is a very effective skin moisturizer. Blisters and rashes will heal much faster when using urine than when not using urine. Some people give their tired, dry feet a daily urine soak. This makes them baby smooth for the next morning.
It is an unfortunate truth that society teaches from a young age to avoid urine completely. I'm positive that you think, or thought, that urine is only a negative substance; that it is purely a disgusting fluid that needs to be disposed of promptly and discretely. Hopefully to those who were on the opposite side of urine in the aforementioned dinner table conversation can now clearly see that i was indeed right. Or as Scot would say I was absolute, admissible, authentic, bona fide, complete, correct, exact, factual, faithful, genuine, immaculate, indubitable, inerrant, infallible, just, out-and-out, perfect, precise, proper, punctilious, real, right on, satisfactory, solemn, sound, sure, thoroughgoing, true, undistorted, undoubted, unerring, unmistaken, utter, valid, veracious, veridical, veritable, and watertight.
Stay classy.
-pete
Monday, February 18, 2008
The truth about urine
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4 comments:
one caveat to your entry - scot can verify this one - urine is NOT good for grass. though i'm sure he'll deny it - there was a time when his frequent morning visits left a sizeable brown spot on dad's brand new lawn.
Pete- You failed to mention on one really disgusting but beneficial fact about urine. I read in a magazine that if you use your morning urine, put it on your face, let it dry for a while, and then rinse it off it is suppose to be a natural acne cure. Pretty gross huh? You should try it sometime and tell me if it works.
While I endorse what you said, and must say that you took the synonyms right out of my mouth, I get the feeling you're bluffing. I dare you to do half of those thihgs. Put your urine where your mouth is . . .
As far as the lawn, David's accusations may or may not be true but you never said plants couldn't have too much urine. I mean, if they can have too much sunlight or water, why not urine? And I don't think grass has any nitrogen deficiencies.
Hopefully this will silence the overtly anti-urinist faction that has infiltrated our beloved family once and for all. Otherwise they'd have to wait until one of them needs a kidney to appreciate this most elect liquid.
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